Random Thoughts in an Old Blog

New England has some strange names for their towns. I live in Barkhamsted Connecticut, named for Berkhamsted England. We here have a few towns in my surrounding areas tipping their hats to the founding father’s (and mother’s) home towns back in England. Even the area, New England, refers back to the homeland. When settlers in New England make tracks for more rural pastures they took with them the names of the original towns. In Vermont you’ll find the Connecticut inspired towns of New Haven, Waterbury and Burlington. These little towns are tiny compared to their CT cousins, with exception of Burlington. The Connecticut town is a rural ‘burb of Hartford, blink and you are already through it. On the other hand, Burlington Vermont is the largest city in Vermont, maybe it has to with the fact it’s situated on Lake Champlain, a hub of shipping for hundreds of years.

 

But this isn’t a geography lesson it’s about insecurities. So what makes these settlers pick familiar names for their new towns? I think it’s the insecurity of a new life, surroundings and the unknown pitfalls that await them in their new home. Having a familiar name associated with their new home must have eased their insecurities.

 

 

I worked with a guy named Mike once. We seemed to be working at different companies together for a few years. This guy was a mess. He was so insecure, he hated living alone. So he would get into a relationship with a woman, change his whole life around for her, move in with her, and in a few months realized he made a huge mistake. So, while still with this woman, he would be looking for another to attach himself to. When he would finally find one, he would leave one and move in with the other. In this process he lost a ton of money, cars, and most his personal possessions. Of course I tried to help this poor guy out, I suggested to him just to get a small place of his own, just for a while to sort out his life, but he was always so financially strapped, he couldn’t afford even a small boarding room anywhere. I even used myself as an example, when my first wife decided she wanted to live alone, and my sperm donation days were over, she took all my money and I had to stay in my car for a month or so, then I got a room at a boarding house for two years. I always told him, if I could do it, he could, but he would just involve himself in another doomed relationship after another. Last time I saw him, he was married, and looking for a way to get out. I asked him what would happen if he didn’t find another woman for him to start a relationship with. His answer saddened me, he told me he would rather live the rest of his life in a miserable relationship with someone he didn’t love than to spend it alone.

 

Insecurities make people do some self-handicapping things that I can’t understand.

 

So what are everyone’s insecurities? Are they something small that you do something a little familiar to ease your tension, or do you live with debilitating insecurities like Mike does?

 

Me? I’ve been through so much shit in my life I’m the most secure person you’ll ever meet. And if you believe that I’ve this little bridge in Brooklyn I’d like to sell you……….I’d be nice addition to the oceanfront property that I have for sale in Barkhamsted.